trouble shooting bandwidth greenwashing fugue state hydrate gifted (as a verb) liaise feminism macho gal (referring to an adult woman) safe sex downsizing fat free sugar free gluten free screen time parenting bonding (in reference to relationships) problem solving influencer carbs senior citizen retirement community user name wedding venue mammogram tachycardia decaffeinated cholesterol colonoscopy leaf blower fake news talk show pedicure celulite f _ _ _ (Which as far as I can tell actually means nothing any more anyway)
Sometimes I find myself trying to explain to someone why I am a practicing Episcopalian but not a believing one. Actually, I think I often try to explain it to myself. Having lost the child-like faith of my childhood, I feel what Jean-Paul Sartre, an atheist existentialist philosopher, ireferred to as a “God-shaped hole”. The phrase is used to describe the emptiness left behind when the divine disappears from human consciousness.
Recently, I came across an article in the NY Times that explains my behavior better than I have ever been able to. Here is it:
CAN I GO TO CHURCH WHEN I DON’T BELIEVE?
I grew up in the Catholic tradition, but after obtaining several university degrees — including one in religion — it became clear to me that Jesus wasn’t divine and that the cobbling together of the Bible in the fourth century was a consummate work of spin-doctoring. I have about 20 arguments in defense of this, not the least of which is Christ’s inefficacy. After 2,000 years, his followers have split into thousands of sects, many of whom have shot and killed members of rival sects. Think of Northern Ireland, World War II. It doesn’t seem to me the way an omnipotent deity should operate.
But boy, oh, boy, do I love the artistic output of Christianity. Bach’s B-minor Mass, the Fauré Requiem, St. Paul’s Cathedral — all these lift my spirit. I love a beautiful Christian service.(Where else do you hear an organ like that?) Actors talk about ‘‘working from the outside in,’’ in which a physical position unlocks inner emotions. For me, kneeling does this. I don’t pray, but the act creates humility and gratitude. It does me good. Then there’s the lovely sense of community in a congregation.
I’ll never be converted. So I guess I’m lying when I turn up at a service and recite the Creed and sing the hymns as lustily as anyone else. Am I hurting anyone by doing this? Is it, for want of a better word, a sin? — Name Withheld
We were told to do that as soon as we moved out of a baby crib and into a “big” bed. It was pretty simple: Pull up the sheet. Pull up the blanket. Pull up the chenille bedspread. Fluff up your pillow. Tuck the spread under and over the pillow. Done.
My Childhood Bed
Likewise, we were also admonished to make up our cot at church camp or boot camp. Leaving an unmade bed was considered slovenly or earned us demerits.
That was then. Now, bed-making is not simple and neither is unmaking. We no longer sleep on or under any of the stuff we “decorate “ the bed with. You would never sleep under or sit on your expensive bedspread. And the pillows we actually sleep on are put aside and replaced by many decorative throw pillows. Maybe as children, we had a small down comforter to sleep under if we were lucky. Now such a thing is called a duvet which is painstakingly inserted into a duvet cover made of some fancy material. This and the sleeping pillows are hidden away all day.
You have made your bed and now you must lie in it — but not so fast!
This weekend there is lots of news about the restoration of Notre Dame and its reopening. It is truly amazing. I attended a service there in i970. I was blown away.
Today I was blown away listening to the French artisans being interviewed and using complex English verb tenses. “I believe the original artisans would have wanted. . .” I think that tense is conditional past perfect. Not sure. I’m a native speaker and an old English teacher and I sometimes don’t know whether the conditional or the subjunctive is needed in my mother tongue. So much about the French to admire — food, architecture, fashion, polylingualism.
Wisdom is the gift I trust and admire the most: Wisdom. I live in a retirement community so I get to see a lot of that. In some world leaders, not so much. What comes to mind is despotism, egotism, craziness.
I follow this man on Facebook:
Steven Charleston is an Oklahoma Choctaw. Like me. He is an Episcopalian. Like me. Unlike me he is a tribal elder and a bishop in the church. He posts words of wisdom most days and they serve me well. A recent post:
“Right now I am taking some time for deep reflection. I am sure many of you are doing the same. The loss of an election is not the end of the world, but it is a good time to stop and consider what it means. We will need to make some changes. We will need to realign our efforts. There is a lot to consider. I pray the Spirit will help us right now with wisdom and insight.”
And hope. I could use some hope.
If “Day One Big Promises” are kept, people will lose their health care. A miscarrying mother will exsanguinate. Pollution and global warming will be relegated to a back burner. Terrifying dictators will be presidential buddies. Cronies rather than experts will become advisors. Elon Musk? RFK Junior? Ukraine will become a Soviet colony. Palestine will cease to exist.
Remember Palestine? Remember the map of Palestine on the wall in your Sunday School classroom? Palestine. Not Israel. Jesus lived and taught in Palestine. He was a Palestinian.
Netanyahu terrifies me. Putin terrifies me. Xi Jinping terrifies me. Kim Jong Un terrifies me. Even now North Korean troops are fighting with the Russians on the Ukrainian border.
An American president who has no understanding of how and why presidential powers are limited terrifies me. One who has never learned about the reason for the equal balance of powers or the Constitution terrifies me. Wisdom would serve him well, but there is none there. (Why canI not even bring myself to write his name?
Hope is a good thing too, but what can we hope at this point? Imposing tariffs on imports will not lower grocery bills. Spending billions to deport “illegal” workers to Venezuela will leave farmers and factories without affordable labor.
This old woman (who is in “his” age group ) believes an optimistic frame of mind is a powerful thing. I can’t seem to get there. I’ll wait for today’s words of wisdom from my tribal elder.
