Parents are wise not to expect to hear that their children appreciate them.  I recently realized that not only do my own children rarely tell me that they appreciate me, I rarely tell my own mother that I appreciate her either!  Sorry, Mom.

Not only do I remember and appreciate so many things she did for me when I was growing up, I still appreciate and value what she contributes to my life today with a kind or supportive word or a bit of advice.  Sometimes she tells me what I need to hear.  She has that right and duty. I value her wisdom and experience.  I do not “argue back.” When you’ve lived that long you just know a whole lot about life and what works and what does not.  One thing I know for sure, no one will ever have your back like your mother does.

Moreover, I admire her.  She continues to learn new things.  Her beautiful handwriting has recently proven difficult, so email is now her preferred mode.  I think even she is surprised that she now considers email to be just fine for thank you notes. And googling is so much faster than pulling out an encyclopedia, the best option these days for inquiring minds.

Of course, like all strong-minded women, we do not agree about everything.  She does not hesitate to ask her daughters all kinds of questions about their lives and thoughts.  I, in contrast, stand way back, not wanting to be thought prying or snoopy.  It’s a risk Mother is willing to take.  She is not fond of superficial relationships.

Another thing I admire is how, during our phone visits, she does not let us lapse into a long recital of our aches and pains —  and people in our age groups surely have our share of them.  We do ask and we do care, but we then move on to more interesting topics.  She taught me a long time ago that, “Good morning. How are you?” is a greeting, a rhetorical question.  The proper answer is, “I’m all right, thank you.  And how are you?”  No one upon a casual meeting wants to hear at length about your recent doctors’ appointments.  Just tell me if you need a ride to your next one, and I’ll be happy to drive you and to talk a bit about hour health and about all the lovely things we see along the way.

And no one encourages and supports me like Mother.  Here she is recently admiring my little book.

Thanks, Mom.