First of all, don’t fly anywhere without one.  You can’t even go to Canada or Mexico without  one and it is your best ID if you get stranded in a country you didn’t even mean to be diverted to.

Second, do not let your passport expire.  Much easier to renew it while it’s still valid.  And allow plenty of time before your next trip.

Third, do not renew online.  Just go to FEDEX and get two photos and take them with you to a federal building near you — could be a post office or courthouse.  It will cost you a fortune if you use an “online expediter.”

Fourth, they say when you look as bad as your passport photo, it’s time to go home.  After looking at the one I had taken this morning, maybe I should just stay home.  Permanently.  Ya’think it would invalidate things if I photoshopped in a turtleneck?