It seems some people feel that their marriages are threatened all of a sudden. They often use the term “the institution of marriage.”

I am acquainted with two couples who serve to illustrate how implausible this is.

John and Mary have been married for many years, in a relationship that has always been fraught with contention, and, to anyone who has been around them very much, joyless.  John has been heard to use the expression “ball and chain” on numerous occasions, and Mary frequently refers to John as her “better half.”  She has often seemed to me to be half a person, but certainly she was not the inferior half.

Ellen and Catherine have been a couple for a very long time two.  I’m sure their partnership is not all sunshine and roses either, but from what I have seen, it is very good.   They are kind and supportive and respectful.  They will get married now, after having been  married in every way but one for about half a century.  Maybe some folks would ask why they would bother now. I get it.

I’m not sure why John feels that his marriage to Mary is going to be less secure than it ever was, but then John was always  insecure about a number of things.

Funny, some of the words and phrases that have been used over time to refer to marriage.  Wedded bliss.  Wedlock.  Give the bride away.  Institution. Ordained by God. Born out of wedlock. Without benefit of clergy. Ball and chain.  Better half. They all strike me as icky. (I know I’m not being  particularly articulate here.)

The truth is,  here in the 21st century, marriage may be reasonably thought of as an archaic and flawed institution.  It certainly can be.  But, hope springs eternal, as is evident by the people who marry multiple times.

A lot of the people who are grossed out by the thought of homosexual sex seem to think marriage is all about sex.  Seriously?  I can’t claim to be much of an expert, but I know if marriage is primarily about the sex act,  it is certainly flawed.  And regrettable.

Isn’t marriage also about taking care of each other? Being better individuals because you are together? Having fun together? Bearing grief together? Having each other’s backs?  Holding each other up? Liking each other?  Being kind and respectful?  Listening? Hearing?  About two people being family to each other?

I was married for most of my life, and when I got divorced, I thought people would ask me why.  But, no!   People asked me why I had stayed married for so long!

I had to think about that.  Why did I stay for so long?  It took me a while to think that through, but then it was very clear to me: I stayed married because I loved family life.

I think that is what most people want.  Family life — whether it is just two people or includes a house full of children and a bunch of animals.

Sure, they were marching in the streets yesterday waving their bright rainbow flags and rejoicing. But today, they are back home, packing lunches, getting the children off to summer activities, going to work, mowing the lawn, paying the mortgage, or maybe just hoping no one will write something hurtful on their cars.

I want to repost here how the ruling came down.  The words are very beautiful.

I saw a church sign online in the middle of the night last night when was looking for something really boring to help me fall asleep. One thing led to another like these things often do.

Here’s the one that got me started.

I have no idea what to make of a church whose signage calls it the First Church of Polydiesm.  First?  Are there others in some sort of numerical hierarchy?

I know that deism means believing that a deity created the earth and then pretty much lost interest after that.  So, I suppose polydeism means a bunch of gods lost interest.  Okay.

Still and all, their recent attention-getter got mine:

I always think that church signs that look like marquees are a bit off-putting.  Like who’s preaching on Sunday and what the title of the sermon is.

There’s one down town here that used to look a lot like a movie sign.  After they remodeled (The place now just looks like any other secular barn-like edifice.), their new sign makes the place look more like a casino.

Another local church every Christmas (Actually, they put it up on Thanksgiving.) displays a large plastic banner that reads, “Mary had a little lamb.”  All righty, then.

The visuals that churches have used for two millennia  have caused consternation.  I love the word “iconoclast.”

Some can’t possibly be designed to encourage the attendance of newcomers:

Vegetarians? Seriously?

Jesus must be so proud!

This one is would certainly discourage anyone who can spell:

In contrast to this one:

Some are inappropriate attempts at humor in addition to having apostrophe problems:

Cute:

And my personal favorite:

It is a great country.  And like most great things, it is also awe-ful.  Good things and terrible things happened this week, and we are so diverse that there is no agreement on which ones were good and which ones were terrible.

Well, I guess at least most of us agree that when a man with a hate-filled heart murders nine people, that is terrible.  Still, there are some hate-filled hearts that don’t quite see it that way.  I had to cover my face when I saw this in front of the capitol when Roxie and I walked there this week.

Two posts from St. P’s this week.

The first one, at the top of the weekly prayer list were these unfamiliar names:

• Cynthia Hurd
• The Rev. Clementa Pinckney
• The Rev. Sharonda Coleman-Singleton
• Tywanza Sanders
• Ethel Lance
• The Rev. Depayne Middleton-Doctor
• Susie Jackson
• Rev. Daniel Simmons Sr.
• Myra Thompson

Last Sunday in church when the leader began to read out these names, I thought, “Why don’t I know who these people are?  I know almost everyone at St. P’s.”  Then it dawned on me and I had to cover my face again.

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Some other significant things happened in this great country this week, and, again, folks are not in agreement about them.

June is a busy month for announcements from our Supreme Court.  In a complicated ruling, the justices saved the ADA.

I know a couple of things about taking care of the sick.

For one, since the very bumpy start the ADA had in Oregon, 60% of people who were previously uninsured now are.  How bad is that?

For another, a wise and compassionate man who was in the healing business a very long time ago told a story about someone who spent some of his own money to take care of a sick person he happened to see on the roadside.  At the end of the story, the teller said, “Now, you go and do this too.”   I see a connection.

And the second post from St. P’s, on Facebook this morning, looked like this:

You know, there will be people who will leave the church over this.   And there are people who are buying up Confederate  symbols while they still can.  And people who are posting hate-full comments about the poor and sick along our roadsides who “want something for nothing.”

Ah, well.  Let them be full of pride about their great wisdom in these matters.  As for me,  my heart seems to be rejoicing.  I just can’t help it, after so much sadness, it does feel like a festival day.

We were both very young!

Sometimes it’s really hard to live in the skin you were born in.  For some folks, this is a gender issue.  For me, for a long time, it was an age issue.

I didn’t know it, but for years, I was an old person trapped in a young person’s body.   Now that I am old, I understand it.  I no longer have to pretend that I want to go down-hill skiing or white-water kayaking or go to loud parties or stay out late on Saturday nights.

This week we’ve been hearing about a woman who does not “identify” with her race. Now, that must be really hard.  One report mentioned that she was born out in the country someplace, not in a hospital, and thinks maybe she was switched at birth. Or her parents were. Or something.

Remember when you were about five or six years old? You were sure these two ordinary people could not possibly be your real parents. Your real parents would never have sent you to your room for being naughty. You had been switched at the hospital and were really a princess. You identified with royalty, not with ordinary.

A six-year-old is pretending. An adult woman is a phony baloney.