I am auditing a wonderful class at Willamette this term. (Lots more about this will appear on the blog during the term.)
At our first meeting this morning, we were asked to print on a card and place it in front of us whatever we want to be called along with our “pronoun choices.” My choices are “any singular pronoun.” At this point in my life, I am more concerned with grammar than with gender. For example, please do not say, “Jean has terrible ideas so I am not interested in anything they have to say.”
The class is made up of 20 very bright and engaging 18-20 year olds. “Auditing” means I just get to sit and listen to their wonderful ideas and cut class on exam days. Well, the class is at 8 a.m., so there were not many wonderful ideas before they had finished their thermal cups and were sufficient caffeinated.
I observed some things I wish I had not. I think most of their kindergarten teachers failed to show them a good way to hold their pencils. And someone failed to teach a couple of them that possessive pronouns to not have apostrophes, i.e. “her’s.” Not my job. Prof. Gutterman is not concerned with such minutiae either.
It’s funny that in Iran it’s not against the law to be transgender. There is a story about Khomeini meeting with a person who identified as a woman several different times and forming a friendship. Somehow she was able to convey her pain and desire to live as she felt God meant her to. And he, finding nothing in Islamic law that seemed to expressly disallow her wish, gave her his blessing, opening the door for an odd spot of classical liberalism in the Islamic Republic. Sometimes I wonder if it all seemed a little easier to accept as there is no pronoun complication in Farsi. He, she, and it are all “oo.” Language is so powerful.
Language is indeed all-powerful and, gender pronouns are apparently especially painful for people in their late teens who are just figuring out which ones should apply to them. Every communication I receive from anyone under 30 lists his/her pronoun choices in parentheses below the signatures.
Most of the people in class avoid addressing me at all. Perhaps they are would be most comfortable calling me “ma’am” but wonder whether I would find this offensive. I would not. I love the beautiful Spanish word “anciana,” but, apparently it is offensive, connoting something like “old hag.”
More about powerful language. Yesterday at my book group, we were reading excerpts from Toni Morrison’s Sula. One of our number could not bring herself to pronounce the word “nigger.” I think it is essential to read this word as the author wrote it, as in Huckleberry Finn. Then we went on to discuss which such words we found especially offensive. A Jewish member said “kike.” I said “the C word. I can’t bring myself to pronounce it.