You know, I actually admire people who want to run for local offices. It’s generally a thankless job and there’s no money in it.

When the voters’ booklet comes through my mail slot, I might or might not read it, and I certainly do not read statements from candidates who are not even from my district.

I vote in district 10. Nevertheless, this bright-eyed child’s picture caught my eye.

Believe it or not, there really is a Kutztown University, although my spell-check is not buying it.

I wish I knew what the last couple of letters in LGBTQIA stand for. Perhaps “infirm”and “aged.” That would be nice. I wouldn’t mind an H for heterosexual. Or a “?” for “I wish this didn’t have to matter anymore.” Does “gender affirming treatments” refer to breast and penile implants? Perhaps sexual re-assignment? That’s probably a good thing.

But Sarah, Sweetie,”server, nanny, tutor”? And you identify as a “brand ambassador”?

Maybe not yet, Honey. A lovely smile is just not enough.

Hi, there Hannah. May I call you Hannah? Or would you prefer Hajia?

It was such a pleasure to hear from you. I hope you are staying safe there in Syria. We hear that life there is perilous.

First, I think I must counsel you regarding capitalization and punctuation, which leaves much to be desired. Perhaps I could tutor you online. For now, as my first tip: avoid the use of semi-colons. You are clueless in this regard. But, not to worry. Most native English speakers are equally clueless.

Second, can you tell me more about your position on the Contract Award Committee? It sounds fascinating. And what is the job description of the 14 Project Allocation Manager? I had no idea that Syria, with all is present difficulties, has a Department of Minerals and Natural Resources.

I would be delighted to be your agent and to assist you in investing your fund. Please forward to me in cash, US currency, 30% of USD $35 million which would be $10.5 million.

I will send you in code by mail the P.O. Box number to mail these monies to. Do send me your address.

We are going to have so much fun.

In closing, let me say that I am sorry to hear that your husband is dead. Please accept my condolences. I have a former husband whom I would be delighted to introduce you to if you are ready to enter the dating arena. Just say the word.

I await your response with bated breath.

Your new best friend,

Attn.

It’s been many years since several Nigerian princes were trying to start up a relationship with me. Yesterday this showed in my junk mailbox. I was so bored, I opened it.

“Attn:

I am Mrs. Hajia Hannah Ahmed I am a Widow and member of the contract award committee and 14 project allocation manager, of the Department of Minerals and Natural Resources in Syria;

Due to the war in Syria, I am in search of an agent or company to assist me to invest my fund (USD$35Million) and subsequent investment in properties in your country. You will be required to. If you decide to render your service to me in this regard, 30% of the total sum of USD$35M will be given to you for your service.

Yours Faithfully,

Mrs. Hajia Hannah Ahmed”

Ah, poor widowed Mrs. Ahmed who wants to invest in my country. You would think she could at least hire a good translator.

Recently, I have discovered lots of streets and parks in Salem that I never knew about before. Partly, this is because there is no traffic now, so I have driven through some very sweet, modest neighborhoods, streets lined with trees and charming houses.

I’ve been looking for new places to let the dogs run off leash, perhaps illegally, while no one else is there anyway. During this time, I would so much rather ask for forgiveness than for permission. Most park staff are young and polite. I just leash the dogs and say sorry.

Yesterday, I happened on Clark Creek Park. It is completely surrounded and hidden by houses and trees.

It is actually less than a mile and a half from 1880.

It is beautifully maintained and no one was there early in the morning. Tennis courts and playground off limits.

I won’t forget to come back here, but my return visit may be delayed for a bit.

Drat! Shortly after getting back home, I heard a loud pop in my knee. My extensive research says it’s either a torn meniscus or ACL. Can’t get in to see the orthopedist until Tuesday. Until then, I am being cared for by these two furry nurses, human friends and neighbors, and lots of electronic visits, for which I am incredibly grateful. ( also Vicodin!) I’ll just sit here and vegetate until Tuesday. Luckily, I didn’t have a hot date scheduled for tonight.

One of my favorite things to do is to have a few friends over to have lunch with me under the arbor while the wisteria is in bloom. Alas.

Typically, asparagus fresh from the garden would be on the menu, but for some reason, the asparagus seems to be in a snit this year.

Only tiny spears, about the diameter of size 8 knitting needles are coming up. I need to Google some asparagus-growers advisors to determine what is going on there.

In contrast, one tiny violet valiantly blooms among the roots of the magnolia tree.

And one little viola popped up among the bricks.

I am trying to be a valiant violet and not a snitty asparagus.