This is our first birthday without Mother who was born on this date in 1923. I know it must be especially sad for Joannie who made it a special day for Mother every year. Today, she took flowers to the hairdresser and dear friend who went to the nursing home every week to take care of Mother. In fact, she went to the funeral home to make her look her best one last time.

I love this early picture of the two of us. Here, she must have just turned twenty.

She and I were a two-some for many years while we were both growing up and I have so many memories.

One thing I remember that is both good and bad: She rarely lived in the present and was always looking to the future. The good part about that was that I learned always to have something to look forward to.

She loved to have plans even during her last year when she was stuck alone in the nursing home. She wanted to think about what was going to happen next. Joannie taped daily plans for her up on her window listing shows she liked to watch. Jeopardy remained a favorite and I, too, look forward to that every day.

Right now, Joannie and I are looking forward to a pilgrimage early next year to the places Mother and I grew up. Since we were not able to be together for Mother’s funeral, this will be a meaningful memorial for us.

And we always have so much fun together. Joannie has no memory of living in Oklahoma, but I lived there until I was fifteen and got to know all my great-grandparents, grandparents, lots of aunts and uncles and cousins. I’ll have lots of place to show her and stories to tell.

I lived such a long time before I became an orphan. And now it hits home.

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child. A long way from home.