I sometimes read the obituaries in my local newspaper and I am amused by the era-appropriate names parents chose for their children about ninety hears ago. Vern Leroy and Iris Ethel this morning.
Last week, my children gave their father three amazing send-offs. One in his retirement community. One at the local Catholic Church. And one at the veterans’ cemetery.
For some reason, his mother gave him the timeless, classic name of James Stuart Urbanski. I have no idea how she happened to choose that name. For many years I loved being referred to as Mrs. James Stuart Urbanski. That was era-appropriate for women in my age group.
Mary-Margaret composed this perfect obituary for him. Appropriately, she touched on all the positive points of his life and none of the less-fortunate points. Most appropriate.
JAMES STUART URBANSKI 1937-2024
Jim Urbanski died peacefully in his sleep early on April 16 at Maui Memorial Medical Center in Wailuku, Hawai’i. He was born in Buffalo, New York to Edward Urbanski and Florence “Florka” Osinski Urbanski on March 31, 1937. He belonged to a large and loving multi-generational Polish-American family. He was the eldest of 3 and was a beloved nephew to countless aunties. He skipped ahead two years in grade school, and attended the renowned Kensington High School. He was accepted to West Point and MIT but chose to stay close to home and follow an accelerated course of studies at University of Buffalo. He was president of his fraternity, Phi Kappa Psi and served as captain of various sports teams. He excelled in swimming, golf, and squash.
Upon graduation, he joined the US Air Force and quickly became a T-38 Talon instructor pilot, the two-seat trainer model for supersonic fighter jets still used today. While stationed in Lubbock, Texas, he met Jean Harrison Capshaw and they were married on May 8, 1965. He then left the Air Force and joined American Airlines.
After a year together in snowy Buffalo, he and Jean relocated to the San Francisco Bay Area and there built their lives and family for many decades. They became active Episcopalians at St. Matthew’s Episcopal Church in San Mateo. Following a profound born-again experience, Jim also joined many evangelical organizations, including the First Presbyterian Church of San Mateo, The 700 Club, Teen Challenge, and Knox Fellowship. He often traveled to share his testimony. He studied at Regency University in the masters program in Norfolk, VA but ultimately dedicated himself to lay ministry and lectorship with great devotion for the remainder of his life.
He was a commercial pilot for 32 years. He retired in 1997 as Captain on the 767/757 (which of the two, he preferred the 757 for its sportiness). He moved to Maui in 1998, joyful to be able to golf year ‘round. He often shot his age. He volunteered as a math tutor at Kihei Elementary and treasured his time with the young students there. He was an active member of Trinity-by-the-Sea Episcopal Church in Kihei for many years.
As the demands of caring for a home and half-acre in Maui Meadows became too much trouble, he joined the Kalama Heights community where he made some of the best friends of his life, including Emily Bott and Kate and Don Sauer, together forming “The Table.” There he enjoyed helping with chapel services as well as singing karaoke, with just a little cajoling. He also returned to the Catholic faith of his upbringing and found community with St. Theresa’s church, where he was an eager lector. He also belonged to an ecumenical men’s Bible study group called the Band of Brothers.
He is preceded in death by his parents, aunts, uncles, dear cousin Felicia, his close friend William D. Fuchlow, and most beloved brother, Paul, with whom he is most grateful to be reunited. He is survived by his former wife of 42 years, Jean, his 3 daughters, Katherine, Elizabeth, and Mary-Margaret, his sister Susan, his nieces, Denise, Diane, Debra, and Dawn and their mother Carrie, and many great and grand nieces and nephews.
A celebration of his life will be held at Kalama Heights in Kihei on Tuesday, April 23 at 4pm with Reverend John Tomoso offering prayer. Liturgy of the Word and Commendation will be held at St. Theresa’s Church, Kihei, on Wednesday, April 24 with Reverend Arnel Soriano at 10am. Interment with military honors to follow the service at the Makawao Veterans Cemetery at 1pm with the Reverend Amy Crowe presiding.